Letter To My Future Self & A Response

Hey Me,

you're old now. Older than I can imagine me being. It's tough around this time, I don't know if you remember it. We're coming up on exams and I have not started studying because I have a horrible habit of procrastinating. Mom and Dad are doing okay. I don't know if you'll remember but for this Christmas we're all going to Vietnam and Thailand to visit Uncle Jay and because you know Mom has always wanted to go to Thailand.

I'm pretty excited for when the exams are over, hopefully my mental health will get better with the break. It isn't too bad now, but it's still a mental illness. Do you still deal with it? Even at your age? I mean if you do then that's cool because I know I'll be strong enough to get through whatever it throws at me since you're 50. And if you don't then that's great too because it mean's I actually took care of it at some point in my life.

Are you married? I have a feeling you are, I've never been good at being alone. I wonder if you've had kids. I right now don't ever want to have children because they're nasty little gunk monsters that only take take take but everyone keeps telling me that one day I'll change my mind.

Do you have any advice for me from the future? Any big regrets you want me to avoid doing? I don't think you would want me to avoid them, because you're smart enough to know that it could drastically alter my current future and your present as well and we don't want to go messing around with time and such.

I've got some advice for you, because I know myself well. Remember to actually be grateful for the people who love you. I have a habit of taking them for granted. Make sure you give as much as you get, you aren't the only one who needs to feel needed or loved. Take time for yourself and make sure you're staying healthy, lord knows I'll need to get my act together soon and stop eating junk food so hopefully you've chosen good foods for the past 30 years.

I wish you the very best,

Your Past Self; 15 Year Old Dana.

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Hey Me,

you're still young. Thanks for pointing out that I am old, it's general knowledge in my time but always great to be reminded of it. I don't remember much of High School because my memory has always been bad (you would know) and nothing really big happened during that time. Exams were always tough, so I get what you're saying but you honestly need to start getting better at time management earlier on in life. It screwed me pretty bad in college because I kept procrastinating. I don't remember that Christmas. Like I said, horrible memory.

The mental illness debacle will eventually simmer down. You're strong as an ox and tough as nails and I have made it this far so it won't get the best of you. I don't deal with it as much anymore but you know already that it never permanently goes away. You've done the research, it's hard to beat.

I'll let you figure out the marriage thing yourself, I think you'll be surprised. You're right, I am not very good at being alone. Even now I am still needy as anything. I'll also let you figure out the children thing. It's really your decision in the end, no one pressures you into having or not having them. Plus, I know that the thought of actually having them and then losing them is your biggest fear. You don't really care about how messy they are, you've just always sucked at losing things and people.

Advice is tricky haha. I can't tell you too much because you're right, altered future. I can tell you though to always be grateful. You are exceptionally privileged for a girl your age. Don't let your mental illness get the best of you. It may seem overwhelming at times but in the big picture, it's a minuscule problem. Drink lots of water! Do your future self a favour and start good habits early because I know that you suck at continuing good habits and it gets really annoying in your 30's.

For a bratty 15 year old, your advice is actually pretty good. I'll keep your advice in mind. Remember though, you can always take your advice as well.

Focus on improving yourself okay? Don't let others dictate your life, be in control of your own decisions. Take responsibility for your faults but always try to improve them. Not everyone will forgive you for the mistakes you've made. That's okay. The people who do, the people who stick by you, the people who love you are the people worth keeping around. Focus on your education. Don't prioritize people because you'll be disappointed in the end. Try your hardest to love yourself. I know it's difficult but you'll be so much happier if you do. Stand up for what you believe in. Stand up for your friends. Stand up for the people who are hurting. You've always had a loud mouth so use it for good. Don't take any crap from anyone for liking something or someone. You are allowed to like whatever you want and if they have anything to say about it, tell them to keep it to themselves.

The last thing I want to say to you is that your feelings are valid. Always remember that.

Thank you for the life you've given me,

Your Future Self; 50 Year Old Dana.